Thursday, January 04, 2007

Baby Farting SO FUNNY!

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Toot Tone!

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Pooping Peasant Popular in Spain

By Associated Press

BARCELONA, Spain - The Virgin Mary. The three kings. A few wayward sheep. These are the figures one expects to find in a traditional Christmas nativity scene. Not a smartly dressed peasant squatting behind a rock with his rear-end exposed.
Yet statuettes of "El Caganer," or the great defecator in the Catalan language, can be found in nativity scenes, and increasingly on the mantelpieces of collectors, throughout Spain's northeastern Catalonia region, where for centuries symbols of defecation have played an important role in Christmas festivities.
During the holiday season, pastry shops around Catalonia sell sweets shaped like feces, and on Christmas Eve Catalan children beat a hollow log, called the tio, packed with holiday gifts, singing a song that urges it to defecate presents out the other end.
These traditions, in the case of the caganer dating back as far as the 17th century, come from an agricultural society where defecation was associated with fertility and health.
While the traditional caganer is a red-capped peasant, more modern renditions have gained popularity in recent years.


Wednesday, December 13, 2006

How to poop - Japanese potty training video

Some of you may have a little trouble understanding Japanese. But you will get the idea. And this just shows that EVERYONE POOPS! If you would like to brush-up on your japanese to help you understand the video please click here.

Or just watch the video!! I find things a little funnier when I can't understand them...

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Eartha Kitt and Donald Trump

Shit is a funny word. "you little shit", "you big shit", "oh shit", "I'm in the shit", "your in the shit", "I've just had a shit", "I've just had a shit and your in it" and "a wagon load of shit" (who has a wagon of shit??)

Just a few examples of the word and its uses. Somehow it has more gravitas to say shit than poo, "your right in the shit mate" than "your in the poo". I've been in some deep shit in my life and I tell you, if I could have swapped it for being in the "poo" I would have done so in an instant.

Could you imagine the great Metropolitan Police telling some poor bloke he's in the poo after they have just manufactured some evidence against him? Not to suggest that that happens of course, I am sure the Guildford 4, the Birmingham 6 etc. were just simple over sites.

And of course, you get levels of shit. It has its own scale. "I may be in the shit" = mild or korma, "I am in the shit" = Basic level or madras, "I am knee deep in shit" = Bad or vindaloo and "I am up to my neck in shit here" = This is Phal and its Go time!.

What is shit scale called I wonder? I suspect it's a Turdometer but let me know what you reckon.

I was recently in the shit, not that momentous an occasion in the Goosehold I agree, but this one had spread to next door and in the three weeks since they haven't uttered a word to me. A touch unreasonable when all I did was wake up at 5am, my face stuck to my keyboard, empty beer cans strewn about and the music on full blast. mrsGoose forgave me as she tends too, eventually, sometimes or not.

Of course, over here we have all kinds of shit until you really need a shit, then we have an "Eartha Kitt" or a "Donald Trump", go figure.

And finally (hooray I hear :)

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station.

She tells the mechanic, "It died."

After working on the car for only a few minutes it runs nicely and idles smoothly.

The young lady asks, "What's the story?"

The mechanic replies, "Just shit in the carburetor.

"After a moments contemplation, the blonde asks, "How often do I have to do that?

Monday, December 11, 2006

Poop on You

Have you ever been shit on by a bird?

This Picture reminded me of a time I was joining a good friend of mine and his brother to a church picnic. I was an outsider to begin with being an "inactive member". And everyone stares and you can hear the whispers. So the moment I got out of the car I was self conscience about the church members reactions to my presence at the picnic. We were walking up the hill to the food and the church goers, when a flock of seagulls flies right above my head. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the a seagull swarming around my head several times as he was planning the precise moment for his release. I looked up, and it was too late. His shit was headed down to land right on my shoulder. I tried to get out of the way, but I just wasn't fast enough.
Now I was the outsider and the one who got shat on. So needless to say the rest of the picnic was very uncomfortable. I had shit on my shoulder, and I could feel the eyes of the members. I could hear them saying to their children "that's what happens when you don't follow the ways of the Lord, God will poop on you!"

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Happy International Dutch Oven DAY!!!!

Yep I got some fun filled stories about my own celebration of International Dutch Oven DAY!! Stay TUNEDDD!

Dutch Oven Day Is Here

So, finally, the day that Naomi was predestined to celebrate is here. Quite what is so great about a Casserole Dish is beyond theGoose. I guess it's a girlie thing, you know, kitchens, knitting, kittens etc.

"What? What do you mean its not that kind of Dutch Oven?? B*ll%cks"

Seems I had the wrong end of the stick. Mind you, that would explain the puzzled look of mrsGoose when I threw a blanket over and beat her senseleess with a saucepan this morning.

I had done all this research. I found a bloke who was a Dutch Oven Pro, another warmed his up, an outdoor Dutch Oven Specialist and some wierdo who did kept it secret.

Well, I'm off to make peace with mrsGoose. Have a good Dutch Oven day and take care you don't follow through and I'll leave you with these.